New History...


origin of headquarters

   

Chapter 21

I'm not sayin' that I was scared to go into the house or anything, but me and Halley decided that we needed a hideout to plan our raids and pillages. A secret base from which to conduct our overnight operations and a place to store snowball out of site during the day to ward off any suspicion of the true identity of Dartanyun. We give Stubby 100 dollars that we found in an old sock and sent him into town for supplies. 

     Meanwhile Jimmy proceeded to tell us of his superior horse racing skills, which I said was stupid because everyone knew that I was the best horse racer ever born. So we began to argue... and that made us thirsty... so we decided to have a few beers. Well one thing led to another and I can't remember who actually came up with the idea of a race to decide who's skills were superior, too much beer was drunk to remember details, but someone came up with the best idea ever. We was gonna have a wagon race...

     Somehow or another, in that drunken state, we did establish a few rules for the race. We was to use only 2 horses to pull our wagon. Four legged horses only, no eight legged horses allowed. I'd personally never seen an eight legged horse, but Jimmy swears they exist. No rotary horses either, which was fine because those guys are always busy riding in parades and stuff, or is that the Shriners? Anyways... It was best to use older horses too because we decided that you could buy the other teams horses for seven dollars and fiddy cents if you were dumb enough to do something like that. The horses would have to wear regular shoes, no mud shoes or snow shoes allowed. We'd each have a team of 4 drivers and to make it fair we'd all have to drink 6 beers a piece. 

     While we was waiting for Stubby to finish the hideout we figured we ought to map out a location for our racetrack. We wandered out into the pasture down past the house and found the perfect spot. We drew out a perfect oval in the most level spot in the pasture. Some people say it's a goofy bean shaped track on a completely unlevel stretch of land, but they probably weren't hung over when they looked at it. It was a beautiful thing, complete with open air stables for each wagon team just off the south end of the track.

     Now pay attention, cause this is where it gets tricky... Jimmy's friend Dr Brown had recently invented a totally new invention to keep up with how many times each wagon went around the track. Dr Brown explained how it worked using reference points from the space time continuum but I didn't understand any of it, I just remember the name, Flux Capacitor. So each wagon would need one of these Flux Capacitors and that would supposedly keep anyone from cheating and claiming they'd already passed another wagon seven times and how could they be wining. Not that anyone would do that or anything...  Dr Brown also explained the importance of keeping every wagon equipped with the aforementioned flux capacitor under 88 miles per hour. I didn't see that being a problem but he did mentioned it several times.  

     So we spent the next week or so working on the track and building outhouses and a stage for a band to play on after the race. Tommy even got us an old yellow boxcar from his work so we could put the Flux Capacitor equipment on top of it. We were so busy with getting ready for the race that we didn't even notice that Stubby was almost done with the hideout until it was too late. Plus, Stubby must have mentioned to some folks around town about the wagon race because we had lots of people stopping by asking if they could be in the race too. We figured the more wagons there were the more fun the race would be, so we told 'em they could all be in the race. That last bit proved to be a bit of a problem a few years later, turns out people get all crazy about wagon racing. 

     The hideout looked great but I guess we forgot to stress the importance of the secret part. We had intended for it to be small and kinda hidden but Stubby had built a two story building only about fifty foot from the back of the house. When we asked about the location, he explained that it would make it easier for the pizza delivery people to find, so we went along with it. Once inside we were thoroughly impressed. Stubby had built a bathroom inside, commonly referred to as a "Head", and a lush living quarters upstairs. Over the years since we have fell into the habit of calling it "Head and Quarters".

 

 

     It was around this time that another load of passengers from the train arrived at FRed Lobster from the train depot. Folks usually came to Fred Lobster looking for a little down time and some good grub after several days on a train. The trains in those days usually had pretty dang good food, but it was still no match for the locally grown, grass fed organic lobsters served at FRed Lobster. The passengers usually only stayed in town a couple of hours. Just long enough for the the workers to refill the train with water, grease the moving parts and distribute all the mail. However today they'd be staying overnight because they were waiting for another steam engine to arrive.

     As it turns out, Dr Brown stole the train engine and run it off into a local ravine. We're not really sure why he did that, but nobody has seen Eastwood since that day. I think there was most likely some foul play involved out there in that ravine but that's none of my business, but more people staying at FRed Lobster longer was good for my business. So now they was having to send another engine all the way from Baltimore but it'd only take a day since they could go real fast not having any cars attached to it.

     It was during this extended stay that my dad noticed one of the passengers snooping around in the main kitchen at FRed Lobster. He had a little note book out scribbling stuff in it when my dad approached him to inquire what he was doing in the kitchen. He man acted surprised and a little indignant once my dad got to questioning him. Turns out he was from way up north somewhere, Detroit maybe, and was traveling back from a business meeting in California. He explained his interest in the way the kitchen was setup to promote efficiency in the creation of the lobster meals. He noted how each person on the prep line preformed one task and then passed the lobster to the next person, thus greatly increasing the speed and efficiency because each person only had one thing to do. He seemed to think he could use that same strategy in his line of work, which happened to be horseless buggies. Obviously that guy was a little off in the head... I wonder if he ever made anything of himself... 

      Anyway, I gotta go, people are already showing up for next week's race and someone is trying to set up a tent out in the cemetery. 

 

It was around this time that another load of passengers from the train arrived at FRed Lobster from the train depot. Folks usually came to Fred Lobster looking for a little down time and some good grub after several days on a train. The trains in those days usually had pretty dang good food, but it was still no match for the locally grown, grass fed organic lobsters served at FRed Lobster. 

It was on such a day that my dad noticed one of the passengers snooping around in the main kitchen. He had a little note book out scribbling stuff in it when my dad approached him to inquire what he was doing in the kitchen. He man acted surprised and a little indignant once my dad got to questioning him. Turns out he was from way up north somewhere, Detroit maybe, and was traveling back from a business meeting in California. He explained his interest in the way the kitchen was setup to promote efficiency in the creation of the lobster meals. He noted how each person on the prep line preformed one task and then passed the lobster to the next person, thus greatly increasing the speed and efficiency because each person only had one thing to do. He seemed to think he could use that same strategy in his line of work, which happened to be horseless buggies. Obviously that guy was a little off in the head... I wonder if he ever made anything of himself...

 


 

 

Apparently the word got around pretty quickly about this upcoming race. People started showing up Thursday night with camper wagons and grills and stuff. Seems like they think this is some kinda party or something. Someone even said that a 4 piece band is showing up after the race for some live music. A band is fine jus' as long as they don't scare the lobster herd. 

Not sure if i mentioned this or not but we have recently discovered some squatters out in a far corner of the property. It was a man, his wife and a couple kids.They had already built a fancy log cabin and they had about 19 dogs. The man was kinda normal looking except for his lazy eye. Turns out his wife is a teacher at one of the nearby schools and she can kick real high. They also had a couple of real fancy wagons... one even had a tent built into the top of it. Apparently the lazy-eyed man liked to take it down to the river and sleep in the tent on top of the wagon. I didn't see much of their kids but I think one was named Burny, or something like that.

 

we recruited the squatter guy and a couple of his friends to help out with the race team. Scott said we should get matching shirts and secret code names to use during the race. He explained that the names would help us blend back into society after becoming famous race wagon drivers.

Shake Bake El DEoblo Dartanyun Pete Stubby

 

 

Scott decided that we needed racing uniforms to make us look more professional...

origin of race

Squaters down below the track (Peter)

origin of the cemetery

origin of the 100 dollars in the sock

more about dr brown